My grandfather always said "you got to make a fun thing out of it." He was referring to "life." When I decided to run this marathon, those words came through loud and strong and I try to keep focused on them when I am running my longest run of the month. I have been hitting that "wall" often during long runs and picturing my grandfather at the finish line of the marathon always seems to get me through another 5 miles. I know he would do his best to be there if he could even if he wouldn't be able to sleep the night before.
The run on this Sunday was probably about 19 miles. I ran for 3 hours and 6 minutes. (It was suppose to be 10 minutes). I wish I could say that it was invigorating. I also wish I could have gotten into a "zone" where you don't remember running and suddenly you realize that you ran 10 miles already. NO, I felt every minute and every mile. While I was running at one point, I was hoping an hour had past by and only 45 minutes had. Another time, I was praying that 2 hours and 45 minutes had gone by. I knew that if it was less time, my spirits were going to be hit hard. When I finally got the guts to check the watch, it was 2 hours and 20 minutes. Devastated! When I only had 15 minutes left to run, I truly felt like I was never going to make it. And the scary part was I started to think about the fact that I will need to run another hour and 10 minutes (if I am on schedule) for the marathon.
I really believe I will complete the marathon. I do get filled with self doubt sometimes because this is such a monumental task for me but down deep, I don't really think I will give up on that day. I will keep picturing my grandfather at the finish line. I know I will have my family there to support me. And I know that will be the one day I get to really sit on the couch and be served!!